jenny likes things

Posts tagged music

I lost my Ipod…again. I probably lose that thing 3 or 4 times a month, seriously. My luck with those is worse than with remote controls. Anyway, I lost my Ipod which meant that instead of listening to my current 8G of favorite music I had to kick it old school and rummage around for some old CDs that I usually store in the backseat of my car. It’s funny how much music can affect us as individuals. I know that at least for me personally I can go years without hearing a specific song, but as soon as I hear that first note and even before the first lyrics are belted out, I always go right back to that same moment when that very song was the only thing I had left to live for.

I was skipping around songs on a mix CD and when I got to about track 15 I knew within about 5 milliseconds what song it was. When I was 19 I was told that I was going to die. I was sick. In and out of Hospitals and doctor appointments. No one knew what was wrong with me and eventually I landed at an appointment with a Neurologist. It changes you. The person I was before that moment and the person I was 15 minutes later are completely different people. Your priorities, dreams, opinions and views…everything changes.

Obviously I’m not dead. I’m alive and I’m healthy and I plan to continue living that way for at least another 60 or so years, but when I heard that song yesterday everything around me just stopped. Suddenly I went straight back to that girl who sat in her room alone listening to “They Looked Like Strong Hands” over and over again just so she could hear the line “And I’m questioning whether this whole thing was worth it just to die poor and all alone” so that she could feel like even just for a minute that someone in the world understood how it felt.

Music is so incredibly powerful, and while I’m well aware that I will never be the musician I dreamed of being when I was a little girl I know that I will always support the ones who touch my heart. Truth.